this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2026
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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 43 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

Pfft.

lemmy users would rather write you a 3 paragraph screed about they literally can't understand you if you aren't using formal college level grammar because the written language can never reflect colloquial phrasing without all language becoming meaningless and therefore resulting in total social collapse.

or so I have been written at. bone apple pee

[–] DrakeAlbrecht@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago (5 children)

about they

Did you mean "about how they"? I'm far too lazy to write three paragraphs, so here's an excerpt from "De finibus bonorum et malorum" instead:

Certe, inquam, pertinax non ero tibique, si mihi probabis ea, quae dices, libenter assentiar. Probabo, inquit, modo ista sis aequitate, quam ostendis. sed uti oratione perpetua malo quam interrogare aut interrogari. Ut placet, inquam. Tum dicere exorsus est. Primum igitur, inquit, sic agam, ut ipsi auctori huius disciplinae placet: constituam, quid et quale sit id, de quo quaerimus, non quo ignorare vos arbitrer, sed ut ratione et via procedat oratio. quaerimus igitur, quid sit extremum et ultimum bonorum, quod omnium philosophorum sententia tale debet esse, ut ad id omnia referri oporteat, ipsum autem nusquam. hoc Epicurus in voluptate ponit, quod summum bonum esse vult, summumque malum dolorem, idque instituit docere sic: Omne animal, simul atque natum sit, voluptatem appetere eaque gaudere ut summo bono, dolorem aspernari ut summum malum et, quantum possit, a se repellere, idque facere nondum depravatum ipsa natura incorrupte atque integre iudicante. itaque negat opus esse ratione neque disputatione, quam ob rem voluptas expetenda, fugiendus dolor sit. sentiri haec putat, ut calere ignem, nivem esse albam, dulce mel. quorum nihil oportere exquisitis rationibus confirmare, tantum satis esse admonere. interesse enim inter argumentum conclusionemque rationis et inter mediocrem animadversionem atque admonitionem. altera occulta quaedam et quasi involuta aperiri, altera prompta et aperta iudicari. etenim quoniam detractis de homine sensibus reliqui nihil est, necesse est, quid aut ad naturam aut contra sit, a natura ipsa iudicari. ea quid percipit aut quid iudicat, quo aut petat aut fugiat aliquid, praeter voluptatem et dolorem? Sunt autem quidam e nostris, qui haec subtilius velint tradere et negent satis esse, quid bonum sit aut quid malum, sensu iudicari, sed animo etiam ac ratione intellegi posse et voluptatem ipsam per se esse expetendam et dolorem ipsum per se esse fugiendum. itaque aiunt hanc quasi naturalem atque insitam in animis nostris inesse notionem, ut alterum esse appetendum, alterum aspernandum sentiamus. Alii autem, quibus ego assentior, cum a philosophis compluribus permulta dicantur, cur nec voluptas in bonis sit numeranda nec in malis dolor, non existimant oportere nimium nos causae confidere, sed et argumentandum et accurate disserendum et rationibus conquisitis de voluptate et dolore disputandum putant. Sed ut perspiciatis, unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam eaque ipsa, quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt, explicabo. nemo enim ipsam voluptatem, quia voluptas sit, aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos, qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt, neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum, quia dolor sit, amet, consectetur, adipisci velit, sed quia non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt, ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam, nisi ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur? quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit, qui in ea voluptate velit esse, quam nihil molestiae consequatur, vel illum, qui dolorem eum fugiat, quo voluptas nulla pariatur? At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus, qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti, quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint, obcaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa, qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio, cumque nihil impedit, quo minus id, quod maxime placeat, facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. temporibus autem quibusdam et aut officiis debitis aut rerum necessitatibus saepe eveniet, ut et voluptates repudiandae sint et molestiae non recusandae. itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.

my dude, i think you meant
Placerat in id cursus mi pretium tellus duis. Urna tempor pulvinar vivamus fringilla lacus nec metus. Integer nunc posuere ut hendrerit semper vel class. Conubia nostra inceptos himenaeos orci varius natoque penatibus. Mus donec rhoncus eros lobortis nulla molestie mattis. Purus est efficitur laoreet mauris pharetra vestibulum fusce. Sodales consequat magna ante condimentum neque at luctus. Ligula congue sollicitudin erat viverra ac tincidunt nam. Lectus commodo augue arcu dignissim velit aliquam imperdiet. Cras eleifend turpis fames primis vulputate ornare sagittis. Libero feugiat tristique accumsan maecenas potenti ultricies habitant.

[–] huppakee@lemmy.world 30 points 4 days ago

Jokes on you, i don't read lorum ipsum

[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

If you think I’m gonna read all that you’ve got another thing coming

[–] zedgeist@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Is it me? Am I coming? OwO

[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Well I'm not Orgazmo but if you want to you do you.

Quid dixisti de me, canis parva? Tibi dicam: summa academiae meae graduatus sum classis SEAL, atque in excursibus numerosis involvi Al-Qaedae, et plus quam CCC mortes confirmatas habeo.

In bello gorillae exercitavi atque optimus snipor sum in tota militia Civitatum Foederatarum Americae. Nihil tu mihi es praeter scopum alium. Te abolefaciam ad precisionem quae numquam visa est in hac terra, me audi.

Censesne te evadere posse, his nugis mihi dictis in Interrete? Iterum cense, fututor. Nobis loquentis, cum rete meo loquor speculatorum trans CF et IP tuum vestigatur nunc, debes ergo tempestati praeparare, vermis. Tempestas quae rem patheticam quam vitam appellas delet. Tam mortuus es, puer. Vspiam esse possum umquam et te occidere possum in plus quam DCC modis differentibus, illud solum nudis cum manibus meis.

Non solum in proelio inarmato tam condoctus sum, quoque autem aditum habeo armamentarii corporis marinorum Civitatum Foediratarum atque illo maxime utar ut culum miserabilem tuum e facie terrae emittam, O gurde parve. Vtinam scires ultionem formidabilem quam parvum “callidum” dictum tuum erat allaturum, forte ibi linguam tenueris tuam.

Non autem potuisti, non tenuisti, itaque paenites nunc, O caudex. Iram cacabo in te mergebasque illa.

Mortuus es, puer.

I want you to know, I scrolled past this with the exact lack of attention required. You're welcome... I think

[–] arotrios@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Instructions unclear. Please advise on how to remove bone from apple unharmed - it is imperative that the bone remain undamaged.

[–] northertech@fedia.io 5 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Dude, just admit it's not a bone and I will give you the answer.

[–] arotrios@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Most folks from where I refer to it as a bone in both noun and verb form. I know you think I'm joking, but the head is really stuck in tight...

[–] DrakeAlbrecht@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

On the contrary, this is about the most honest rendition we've gotten yet.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

You just have to pee. It's right in the instructions

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Its bone apple tea jesus christ man you are BUTCHERING the language

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (2 children)

It's spelled Napoleon Bonaparte, the guy who made out like a bandit from all of this

[–] prex@aussie.zone 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Nono its hone apart, for when you disassemble a tool

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

No, it's dissemble, when you're being intentionally misleading

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 points 4 days ago

Are bandits really that good at making out? I wouldn't know.

[–] Forester@pawb.social 6 points 4 days ago

Excuse me sir it's 🦴🍎🦷🦷🦷

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I've made quite a few spelling mistakes on here, and some of them I've only noticed when looking back through my profile, never having been once called out.

So, in my experience, the spelling extremism isn't that rife on Lemmy

I think how often you get called out on your spelling mistakes really just depends on how deeply wrong your opinions are, so congrats.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

i think we are the type who recognize that multilingual folk exist. and those folk make mistakes. and they shouldn't be castigated for their mistakes. because i don't like being castigated (unless she's my wife. i also choose this dude's wife. exceptions exist) do you?

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm not sure how this went from spelling errors to partner swapping, but I'll embrace it.

now you got me thinking about embracing my wife and i'm feeling all googly moogly. i'ma go make some tea or something

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Hm, as someone who really gets bothered by prescriptivists (especially the iamverysmart ones who call out minor spelling mistakes or obvious typos), it's a lot better around here than it was a couple years ago but those accounts are still very present and noticeable to me.

[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago

I like typos that make good band names: Fleshly Laundered Quilt.

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's strange that I haven't encountered that,tbh. But it's very much better than early Reddit, in want case:p

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Objection@lemmy.ml 13 points 4 days ago

The three words?

  • Git reckt bozzo

Curiously, written in English.

[–] jdr@lemmy.ml 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Because of the political executions, right?

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I was thinking the smug, self-satisfied pedantic assholery, but that works as well!

[–] BonsaiBoo@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

The more things change, the more they stay the same

[–] amio@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Turns out modelling something on Reddit, catering to Redditors, and botposting shit tons of Reddit shit makes things like Reddit

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 12 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I like how, even near death, he still wanted people to represent themselves properly.

I hope we can continue to only reward people with attention when they can write to the 6th grade; and caution those who cannot, so they can edit their writing and meet that minimum.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago

Either that or even near death he nitpicked minor unimportant details that made no real impact on the weight of the situation.

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 days ago

Perhaps the people in power should invest in improving the education system so the peasants will be able to spell properly before they hang the people in power?

[–] stumu415@lemmy.zip 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Wait till you read Trump tweet or truth or whatever that shit is called, when this is finally his turn.

[–] one_old_coder@piefed.social 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

With a picture of Louis 16?

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Have a picture of Mickey 17, if it means that much to you

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 3 points 4 days ago

@Mickey7@lemmy.world your great great great great great great great great grandson

[–] Avicenna@programming.dev 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Peasants... (spits at the P)

[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 4 days ago

Let's rephrase that and see if we can find some people suddenly appreciate it: "He refused to be anyone but himself even in the face of death."

someone should put that shit on a poster!