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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
You can buy a full, real human skeleton for about $7,000. Since real skeletons don't stay intact once all the meat is gone, you could just drop a pile of bones in the bottom with a large pile of diatomaceous earth. That would give the local forensic team something to do.
Since real skeletons don’t stay intact once all the meat is gone
Sorry but I've seen enough horror movies to know skeletons maintain their position perfectly as the body decomposes. Don't spread misinformation here.
They don't fall apart until some fool of a Took comes along and touches them. Then you're boned.
I bet the orc that first started banging his drum was just startled by the sudden sound and movement but tried to play it off as intentional by continuing and then it became a whole thing 🤷🏻
"Mom, what's that smell?"
"Probably just some meat that fell behind the counter, honey. It'll go away on its own in a few months."
"Can't daddy just get it?"
"... no."
Mmm they sorta do and sorta don't. Ligaments are last to go and aren't horrifically difficult to accidentally partially mummify.
You have to live in a very oversized house in area where space is extremely cheap to decide to just throw space away. Yes that wedge of corner space under the counter is inconvenient, but it would still be useful for things you only need to get to very occasionally.
Spaces like that are more common than you’d think when it comes to countertops. Some older kitchens used that space for lazy Susan style rotating shelves, but you don’t see it much anymore.
Might be because these corner sections don't work if you want everything drawers instead of shelves. That's the issue I've run into
Yup. We had a house like that and I told me wife, "fuck it. make it a basic one shelf cabinet and store crap in it.
I've got the lazy susans! Three of them!! Ahahahaha!!!
Three? Wow. Susan ain’t lazy in your house.
Overly conscientious Susan.
The blocked-off corner space is what happens when you buy pre-made cabinets instead of having them custom-built. (Unless the cabinet manufacturer happens to offer a dedicated corner piece, and the measurements work out such that it fits in your kitchen, I guess.)
"Oversized" and "cheap" are relative terms.
Also, not everyone obsessively buys and hoards crap they don't need. My kitchen cabinets are half empty, because I don't buy things like air fryers, and bread machines, and food dehydrators, or whatever the latest single purpose cheap appliance is.
I use it for things I rarely ever use, like the microwave.
I would get rid of it but sometimes when we invite people over to have food and they bring microwave meals.
10-15 years is way too frequent to be performing kitchen remodels.
"...I just felt like we needed something new!"
Right? I got granite that shit is stone it lasts forever.
We're moving to a new place and buying a kitchen. Stone/granite is so expensive even for a small kitchen. Everything not an imitation is expensive, really. Actually, everything is expensive nowadays 🫠
I got a quote to trim my trees and there are six of them, fair. He comes out explains the canopy and growth direction and yada yada. Does some paperwork. $5k
Bruh, what the hell.
And thats why they get the Random Skeleton.
Shh! Don't attract the attention of Big Kitchen!
Its you. You will be remodelling and forget you put it there. Joke's on you.
Ha, as if I could afford to live there until then.
Even better, don't use a Spirit Halloween skeleton. If you really want to do it right, use the real deal:
https://www.skullsunlimited.com/
Little known fact. You can actually order human skeletons on the Internet.
That’s an incredibly expensive prank. Over $2,000 USD for a skull alone.
That sounds lucrative. You can just dig them up from the ground for free!
Bone room could absolutely be something else.
Boner opened to many chrome tabs?
That Jon's Bones is the real deal. My cursory perusal found human skulls going from about $2000 up to about $6000. A human vertebra is $52.
Or plan your kitchen remodel to not have that stupid corner.
So a perfectly round kitchen?
Empty space in the corner cabinet? WTF? Is that another American invention that didn't cross the ocean? Thankfully.
Plenty of that stuff in Europe, too. My mother's custom made kitchen has quite inconvenient shelves in that corner, but at least the space is used. OTOH, we're buying a kitchen and the standard is to just have nothing there. Seems like one has to specifically request shelves or a lazy Susan type mechanism.
Has no one introduced you guys to the concept of the corner cupboard?
Ah, the cobwebs will naturally come.
A mannequin arm came with our house. It was up in the attic, right next to the hatch. The inspector came to look over the house and found it. Almost fell off his step ladder.
Why not just hide the actual remains there?
Because then I'd have to go back to that one oak tree next to the dried-up riverbed to retrieve them.
Most contractors I know would appreciate the joke. Just make sure the skeleton is a cheap, obviously fake one. I’m thinking Spirit Halloween.
I would throw in a joke that a child could laugh at too. ( Skelky is holding a poster for "(remodel year) (neighborhood) annual hide-and-seek contest"? )
The Webcaster gun is amazing and makes low grade props look way better! A bit of a single purpose item, some may say, but I used one all over to throw a killer Halloween party, and my ex built haunted house attractions and used them there.
Wow! Super cool. Idk about blowing money on one since I don’t already have an air compressor, but it’s a neat tool
I was able to borrow one from a relative so that was a big help. You should be able to rent one too. If you're a Halloween fan, it should be right up there with a fog machine. It was really fun and easy to use, and cleanup was a breeze because it isn't sticky or anything.