Maybe Marx should have included a part in the middle where he and his girl friends smoked weed and talked about funny ways to get rid of capitalism.
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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
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Those flashlights mostly existed for beating black folk anyways
Yeah, that's why they had that name.

Cue Morgan Freeman being beaten by a flashlight
"I'd like to tell you he fought the good fight..."
Could you elaborate?
I'm not OP, but the Maglite was originally developed for use by American police in the late 1970s. They made it long and heavy so that it could be used as a club (sorry, "impact tool"). Like most things that the police did during that time, these were mostly purchased with the intent of providing plausible deniability about racial profiling and police brutality (and if they weren't purchased with that intent, they were often used for that purpose anyway).
At the same time it was a top of the line flashlight. We used them a lot looking for crabs.
Oh, it was definitely the brightest commercially-available flashlight of the pre-LED era. If I recall correctly, they sold a much smaller-sized flashlight that was just as bright; some of my friends' dads had that one hanging around. I remember being amazed.
My grandad was a sheriff during the civil rights movement for some time after.
He just put a lead core in a baton and called it a day. He had two, one for black folk and one to show the prosecutor if it ever came up. Spoiler: it never came up.
Ooof. That's even more rough, that he knew it was wrong and took steps to cover it up. Sorry to hear about that.
Jesus Christ. Your grandpa was a dick head.
Beat the shit out of his kids too. Fucked up thing is I only have fond memories of him. He died when I was young and only learned about this crap long after he died.
(You've gotten them conflated with Kel-lights; Maglites were a knockoff improvement of the kel lights, and were widely available to non-LEO buyers. They were also a good deal less effective as a bludgeon, but far superior flashlights, which is why they became popular. Plausible deniability isn't worth squat if you can't find what you want to hit)
Keller paid a commission of $1 to each police officer that convinced another to purchase a light.
After Keller left in 1972, he continued designing lights for a new company (Pro-Light, 1973), later moving on to Maglite (1979), Brinkmann, and ASP.
ASP made lights? i thought they just made those extendable clubs. damn good clubs, too.
... yes?
Oh, interesting. I know that the Maglite was intentionally targeting law enforcement, but I didn't know that they were actually the second generation of club-flashlight. I just looked up the Kel-light and discovered that they were about a decade earlier, which frankly makes it even clearer what (or rather who) the "impact tool" was for.
"When Someone Beats You with a Flashlight You Make Light Shine in All Directions"
~Jenny Holzer
They were very popular among security guards that weren't supposed to be carrying a weapon.
Large maglight-style flashlights like that were often carried by people who weren't permitted to carry a truncheon/nightstick, as a big stick full of D cell batteries is an extremely effective club (until it bends). While the idea that mostly people who owned them used them to beat black people is a bit hyperbolic (for a long time they were just the most reliable flashlight you could get) they definitely were also used as a bludgeon. Mostly that role has now been filled by telescoping batons though, just as effective but much less weight to carry around.
I used to carry a big 6D maglite when I delivered pizza for a living. I think there were at least a couple times when having that thing with me at night dissuaded some sketchy folks from trying anything.
Most dangerous job in the world. Thank you for your service
o7
I'm pretty sure it's not quite the most dangerous job in the world, though. Isn't logging more dangerous? But, yeah, it is actually pretty high up there on the list, lol.
I carried one as a hotel night clerk, with a nice side-handle attachment to make it into a proper T-shaped baton.
Heavy as shit and the local methheads still made threats, but they certainly never tried.
Rip to a real one
Flashlights have come a long way since LEDs have become common
You can retrofit a led bulb into the big ass Maglite and enjoy seemingly unlimited battery capacity.
True, but the light will still be subpar compared to a light designed from the ground up to use leds at least, that's been the case with all the maglite led replacements I've tried
I have an old LED maglite (Maybe 4D? not sure) and I haven't replaced the batteries in probably almost 10 years and every time I come across it in storage I click it on just to see if it still works. Never fails
I really suggest pulling the batteries, if they leak and corrode the housing they are nearly impossible to remove.
Hexbear users would be upset if they could enjoy music!
They would be upset anyway.
You might think 9-5 is more illuminating, but you can really club the shit out of the bourgeois with Marx.
RIP Dolly
RIP