SpaceNoodle

And a bushy, greying beard?

Eh, fuck it. How you doin'?

No, you can call me Suzy

I've had long hair for thirty years now.

I am but the lesbians still aren't into me :(

Or the broad shoulders and 6'5" height

Same but as the guy with the long hair

Unless you visit Ace Hardware.

Carefully.

I keep forgetting his name was Nalsan Mandala

*Billiniris

No ongoing franchise fees.

https://www.myace.com/open-an-ace/

There are fees for using other Ace franchise services, but that's far from the "lions share."

Almost all of Ace's locations are independently owned. If there were an unaffiliated store anywhere in my vicinity, I'd certainly go there, but this neighborhood business literally two blocks from my home is hard to beat.