this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2026
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so all my friends and family should be cut out of my life?
No, I think you should try to stand up to their criticism, educate them until they either become better, or until they choose to self-select themselves out of your life instead. We are social creatures; speech, criticism, argument, shame and rejection are key tools we use to shape others behavior. You may not get exactly the result you intend, but you will almost inevitably be able to change their behavior somehow.
Conflict is natural. We've become too socially conflict-averse and it has let nasty people thrive when they shouldn't and reinforces their attitudes to others. We need to stop tolerating other people's shitty attitudes. Make it intolerable for people who are intolerant.
Oh, they just tell me I'm a loser with no ambition when i push back. Or if it's someone I'm dating, they break up with me after telling me that. I am the one who is at fault here, not them.
I live in America man. You are not allowed to be modest and enjoy your life here. You have to always be striving for more and deeply unhappy with what you already have. It's the national religion. If you have 50K in the bank you need to want 500K, if you have 500K you need 5million, if you have 5 million you need to want 50 million, so on and so on. hedonistic treadmill never ends.
Where I live owning a modest 500K apartment is not considered achievement it's considered failure at life. Achievement is owning a 5 million dollar home. And in the places where they own 5 million dollar homes, they all want to own 50 million dollar ones.
Perhaps being a "loser" according to the standards of nasty, cruel, selfish people who are too ignorant to realize they are any of those things is actually a sign of success and a good thing. Don't let your surroundings define your morality. It's normal that living in such an environment will skew your moral compass, but you can correct for that, and it doesn't make you wrong.
Yeah, but if you don't believe in God and everyone else around you worships that God, well that's just something you have to deal with isn't it?
It's bizarre but it is what it is. Not really on board with the moral purists here who are like 'root out the non-believers from your life'. I personally just don't care that much about housing, or cars, or job titles or any of that stuff. I roll with the punches of life, it's not like it's something I sit around stewing about hours per day, or talk to my therapist about every week.