this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2026
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[–] Raccoon_Rick@altgag.net 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We all know exactly where we’re going!

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How often do such breasts need feeding?

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

At least three times a day

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 months ago
[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 8 points 2 months ago

Me when a cat or a dog wants me to follow them.
(Never happened with a bird, but the same applies.)

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Jfc, I literally just had a dream where I was taking care of a baby during custody issues in court, and the baby babbling and making noises had everyone in the entire building stopping by to act silly for it, including the judge leaving their place to come ask if she could hold the damn baby.

No fucking clue why I would have that dream, never had a baby of my own.

But I'm sitting there in a dream court, and the proceedings are interrupted by a judge needing to play with a damn baby.

What's worse is that I was equally enthralled by the little mindflayer monkey.

Which has nothing to do with the fact that if a toddler comes up to me and extends a little hand, opening and closing their fingers in a "come walk with me" gesture, I'm going to play hell not doing so, no matter how much common sense tells me that it's a trap because toddlers don't just appear out of nowhere to ask you to walk with them.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 months ago

Clearly you are to birth the future Messiah.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

they did WHAT to you? lead the way dude we got dragons to slay

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

You clearly have a defective baby. Just take it to the baby changing room and exchange it for a quieter model. It's covered under warranty..

[–] Tiger_Man_@szmer.info 2 points 2 months ago

if its your baby then youre calling yourself a bitch