this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2026
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[–] victorz@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Okay. I talk to whoever I want like this at work without issue. I'm happily in a relationship, but I treat everyone I talk to like this—with respect. Ask questions and show you're interested in what people say. It's just friendly as well. Maybe in America this is an issue in the workplace?

But if you genuinely feel interest for someone at work, show them outside of work. Ask them out to somewhere where you can talk. If they say yes and agree to it, surely they shouldn't report you for harassment. But there's no harm in talking to a colleague at work, surely. Otherwise what the fuck kind of bullshit workplace are you at?

After all, most people in relationships are also good friends within that relationship... So speaking in a friendly way should never be an issue.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

In America we watch HR videos that basically say 'you can tell sally she has a nice skirt on today, but if you comment on her hair or tell her she is pretty you are sexually harassing her'

I did my HR re-training a few months ago. This is what it said. They have these strict guidelines on what speech is permissible between co-workers. My HR trailing is an hour long or so, and most of the time is spend on what qualifies as sexual harassment or hostile workplace conversation.

Because the companies don't want to be sued for sexual harassment. Which is precisely what Sally could do, if I told her she was pretty and HR didn't fire me. She could sue my company for a nice six figure settlement for creating a hostile work environment by allowing me to comment on her physical attractiveness.

There are also strict rules about what topics are appropriate for discussion.

This is how every USA workplace is. These rules also apply outside of work hours. If I go out with Sally after work, she also an sue the company if I make a pass at her at a bar, and they don't fire me for it. Even if Sally is into me, we date, and we disclose it to HR there are strict rules about what we can and can't say to each other at work. We can't talk about our relationship to together co-workers, for starters.

This is why nobody dates at work anymore. And the company actively disapproves of fraternization, because it introduces the risk of them getting sued when the relationship between two co-workers goes south.

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yet another reason I'm glad I don't live in America. Sounds absolutely toxic. I can't compliment my female coworker's hair one day when she made an effort to make a special hairstyle? Sounds like a prison to me.

Thanks for the info though!

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah, but you can tell her her skirt is stylish today!