this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2026
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Maybe, maybe not. It could be that he's actually neglecting her for video games. It could be that her idea of "neglect" is any time at all pursuing his own hobbies. Both scenarios occur, I don't think it's reasonable to say this "strongly" suggests one in particular.
Yeah, armchair psychologists often like to throw out the "this isn't what it seems" argument with such conviction that they forget that it still definitely could be what it seems.
... he says from his armchair
I suppose that would be a gotcha if I we're actually trying to read into a scenario I know nothing about, rather than just calling someone else out for doing so.
Eh I'm just teasing you it's all good
I guess I'm just an armchair armchair-spotter, haha!
True
~~I don’t think~~ it’s [not] reasonable to say this “strongly” suggests one in particular.
Disagree. He had a choice to either hear that she was experience pain/duress or that she's exaggerating and/or misunderstanding. In either case, if he truly cares about her then he could/should seek to understand, communicate, and (if appropriate) compromise. That he immediately dismissed her and only talked of himself makes it clear that he's an uncaring narcissist.
I appreciate that you want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Narcissists depend on this. When they show you who they are, believe them.
And she had a chance to communicate her frustrations without making an ultimatum.
That she immediately issued an ultimatum instead of trying to open a productive dialogue about it more strongly suggests that she's the uncaring narcissist. Ultimatums aren't healthy.
In any case, this response isn’t very helpful, since it doesn’t aim to resolve the conflict. Ending the relationship might be the solution—but even then, it probably wouldn’t be the most conciliatory way to part ways.
I simply assume that most people are capable of communicating with one another. If that isn’t the case in a relationship—whatever the reason may be—I don’t think the relationship will last long—at least not if everyone involved is supposed to be happy in it.
I think you're totally right, but also don't underestimate the average person's willingness to tolerate being in a bad or even toxic relationship. A lot of those folks are commenting here in this thread
Thanks. Yea, it seems I didn't take some sensitivities into account in my comment, judging by the downvotes it received. It was by no means my intention to upset anyone; I simply wanted to express my belief that it's a good thing to treat each other with respect and show understanding for one another, even if that can sometimes be difficult.
At least for me, this has always worked pretty well in relationships, which is why I thought I’d recommend it.
That is not at all a safe assumption.
Yeah, looks like it.