this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2026
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I remember once on a forum a big cis het guy was saying that he's never seen cat calling on the street. Never him, and never at any of his friends. Someone pointed out that since he's a big dude, he's probably not going to be catcalled, and other shitty dudes are likely not going to bother people near him because of patriarchy.
To everyone's surprise, he came back and was like "ok that makes sense. And I asked my women friends and they told me a lot of stories"
Rare to see someone change their mind like that.
Glad to hear he actually checked with the women in his life for their perspective. I'm sure the guy in my example did not have any friends who were POC. If he did, he never bothered to ask them about their experiences with racism and they never felt comfortable enough with him to tell him about their experiences. Based on his age, in the era he grew up, the state was over 95% white people, and that was likely more concentrated to urban areas. If I had to place a bet, I would say the area he grew up in was rural or suburban. It was just wild to me that he never considered that things could be different for other people living in a different area.
If I'm remembering correctly, this was during the time that NFL athletes were kneeling for the national anthem and conservatives were losing their minds over it. He was watching a game playing on the TV, watched them kneel instead of stand, and commented that BLM is a stupid, pointless movement. The conversation ensued from there.
Good on him for actually listening and checking with people who would know more