this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2026
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[–] teslekova@lemmy.ml 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

A thousand times yes. My (m) partner (nonbinary) was, for years, in a disaster of a relationship where, among other issues, they felt trapped into cooking dinner every night. They had made a deal with their girlfriend that they would cook and she would clean up. She stopped cleaning up consistently. However, my partner is a stubborn person who has trouble ending their own side of a deal even if the other person breaks their part.

I have therefore resolved never, ever to ask them to cook, or even ask questions about what they're having for dinner, to avoid this becoming a problem in our relationship.

However, they actually love cooking. We're both autistic, and cooking is one of the things that calms their brain.

They offer me dinner almost every night. I'm eating good, nutritious food most of the time now. I'm losing weight (which I need to do).

I do offer to cook or order delivery if they are particularly exhausted, and I have made it quite clear that I'm happy to be asked to do so, since I never had that problem.

It's working great. If our relationship goes bad, at least it won't be for that reason. Doing well so far, almost a year in.