this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2026
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Eons ago now, in my youth, WalMart used to be open 24 hours a day, making it a viable option for hanging out late and observing other local weirdos. One night, around midnight, a group of much younger kids were there, running around and being loud and making a mess and generally threatening to "ruin it for everybody." When they ran past us at full speed, narrowly missing my friend, she muttered under her breath, "Fall. Fall. FALL!" And in that very instant one of them tripped and face-planted in the middle of the aisle in the women's clothing section, very nearly going full scorpion. We would have laughed otherwise, but we were both eyes-wide in amazement at my friend's newly discovered magic powers. The end.
Not even late night but a young kid was standing in the cart screaming about something and all the mom did was yell at them telling them to stop, while the kid was Stomping around. I was just NOPING OUT of the section when the mom shoves the cart, lo and behold the kid shifted to the end and ragdolled out. Thr only saving grace was they were in the clothing section which was carpeted so the kid just kidnapped bounced.